I LOVE MY CHICKEN BODY

I love my chicken body! Bet I got your attention with that one. :)

I recently read this book written by a couple of women who embrace their perceived inequities so I though I would do the same.

I LOVE my chicken body but shhh... don't say it out too loud lest it becomes my definition. I have those kinds of physiques that resemble a chicken: small head, big on the back and skinny legs that make you wonder if they provide much support. It sometimes makes me wonder what kind of criteria my genes used when they were sorting themselves out to create form.

My small head, a bit tricky to work with especially because I can't exactly pull off all the hairstyles on the salon poster. I love short hair, but then again I get scared of the unseen corners that might be lurking under there so I dare not. And I think my father knows this too because when I told him I had been toying with the idea of cutting my hair he flat out told me that I would look like ET's mentally challenged sister (ok ok he didn't say THAT...exactly) he just said that I should not find my way back home if I got rid of my hair. Frankly, I think he was just apprehensive that I might not be a quite a big catch after and hence deplete his future dowry cow stock :)

Big on the back..true heritage of a Luhya woman. Can be a bit of a burden sometimes. True story, especially when you wear totally flat shoes that place weight on your heels you tend to feel like you've wrapped a small sack of flour around your bum area. It reminds me of the Baganda who are famous for their booty gyrating dances and traditional outfits called Gomes. They elaborately place towels and pieces of blankets to enhance the size of the posterior. So who am I to complain? :)

Finally my oh so skinny legs. Sometimes i envy those women with fat legs because they look like they have so much character (the legs not the person). But I got to thinking, my legs DO have their own character. Just like me, a bit awkward, a bit offish but fitting. That's me.

I'm embracing me, chicken body and all. Figure 8's are overrated. And who wants to look like you've been pinched in the middle anyway.

Love yourself
Love your inequities and your offish qualities
You'll live better for it
Guaranteed.

Much love,
Chickeny :)

WHEN MY FACE MET BARRY

I had to end the new year with a bang so this past Saturday I took my girlfriend Adi and went to get a Marilyn Monroe piercing at Barry's Piercings in Westlands.

The anxiety was so apparent from the morning when i stepped out of bed and my brain recalled that I was due to get an extra hole on my face that day. I can barely remember much of what transpired during most of the day so will get right down to business and describe the "deed".

Its always important when going through life to surround yourself with friends who can help you get through the hard, tough and just-wanna-pull-out-your-hair days. Those friends who will bail you out when you get into sh**, hold your hair up when you puke after a night of drink binging,......well, you get my drift. My friend Adi is not that type. She is in-your-face, tell-you-when-you're-wrong, take-you-comfort-eating...basically all the good stuff :) When you're going to get your appendix pulled out...take your mother. When you're going for a fight...take Adi!! :)

I digress, so off we went to get the piercing. It wasn't the huge needle so much that freaked me out, or the smell of antiseptic reminding me of a hospital ward, it's the fact that Barry wasn't nearly as pierced as I thought he would be. I kinda expected a professional piercer to be passionate about his work so much so as to be a walking billboard of his art. I can gross you out and go into details about the clamp holding my lip, or the long thick needle that was so sharp it penetrated layers of skin in seconds, or the huge amount of blood that gushed out and was stopped just as fast. But I won't....hehehehe.

Apart from the numbness and the feeling of having a stud through my upper lip, i was doing pretty good. Went for Wamathai December and even went for drinks after. The swollen face the next day caused a panic. I had vivid visions of my face turning green and possibly decaying...yish...so i quickly searched for the Barry's number on the receipt only to come across a line that said
"Do not consume alcohol during the healing process" Sh**!!!!!!

In the past few days I've gone through a myriad of emotions and conspiracy theories about piercings, sleeping with a pocket mirror under my pillow so I can periodically wake up to check if my face has swallowed the stud, late night Google searches for aftercare of lip piercings and symptoms of infections...in short according to Google i was going to DIE!!!!!!!!!!!

Its been almost a week since I jumped off the sane cliff and I'm just still on free fall but according to Barry I'm gonna fall on a soft cushy surface real soon, no need to worry :)
Oh...if only it were that easy, Barry. If only.

UNTITLED 8

If all you see
Is the mad in me
The crazy, the insane
The psycho battles I face

Then what you see
Is really but part of me
I like to think
I'm wonderfully bad,
fancifully confused,
beautifully twisted,
serenely lost

If all you see
Is the mad in me
Then you need to redefine
What mad really is.

UNTITLED 7

When I said I loved you
Did you believe me?
When I chose that moment to tell you
Was it the right one?

Immediately after I said it
I looked at you
And a momentary shadow of doubt
Crossed my mind
Do I?

Then as quickly as the doubt came
It disappeared.
I don't love you....
What I feel
Surpasses words
Worlds....
And creates...
Unparalleled...
Its own voice of reason

Do I love you?
Yes and No
There's just...
No existence without you.

UNTITLED 6

Another place
Another time
Another choice
Another me
What would I be

Sometimes I wonder
Would it be better
Would it be worse?
For sure
It would be different.

Different stories
Different people
Who would they be?

I wouldn't mind
Because sometimes
I feel I would fit
Anywhere.....
But here.

UNTITLED 5

My heart strings
Strummed along as he sang
Beat for beat
Word for word

All the noise
Died down
And the world seemed
To exist for him alone
His rhythms
Rocked...everything

He feels the song
I feel him
His passion....
My passion....
And at the end of the song;
There exists,
Only endless promises
For me..
For him..
For us.

Still learning, Still sharing

I've been having very yo-yo ish days. Those days when you escalate from a high to a low to a middle and you don't even know what the heck to expect at the next second. All in all its been one learning experience after the other.

Lesson 1
I've learnt that no matter what dark place life takes me there is always going to be an exit sign somewhere if i look hard enough. Even if it means turning over stones and stepping on the occasional flower.

Lesson 2
I've learnt that no matter who someone is or who they know or who they share blood ties with or fences in upcountry with, they have ABSOLUTELY no right to treat you or talk to you as if you are not worth sh**. You ARE somebody. You might not be the richest, the smartest, the prettiest...hell maybe even your style sense got stuck in the holocaust years, you are still somebody. Nobody can bring you down unless you give them permission to. Do not apologise for being who you are.

Lesson 3
Family matters. Seriously, I used to think my family was slightly dysfunctional (though now i use the word 'eccentric' hehe), when i was growing up I used to imagine myself the long lost child of some different family somewhere and they would eventually come to get me. God must have been laughing pretty hard at those thoughts Score 1:God 0:Peachez :)But as time went by and my reasoning matured and i saw how they would alwys be by my side through every single event I went through..the magnanimity of the word family settled within me and just sort of wrapped itself around me. There is no better support system than knowing no matter how far you go out there and what you encounter..there is alwys someone somewhere looking out for you, to embrace you, share a laugh, share a tear. Fight a dragon or two (metaphorical ones of course unless you're caught in some time warp). Family is just the best.

I could say a lot more on these lessons but the best things I believe are those that you learn slowly so that it all has time to sink in and have a deep meaningful impact..yes.

God bless.