Still learning, Still sharing

I've been having very yo-yo ish days. Those days when you escalate from a high to a low to a middle and you don't even know what the heck to expect at the next second. All in all its been one learning experience after the other.

Lesson 1
I've learnt that no matter what dark place life takes me there is always going to be an exit sign somewhere if i look hard enough. Even if it means turning over stones and stepping on the occasional flower.

Lesson 2
I've learnt that no matter who someone is or who they know or who they share blood ties with or fences in upcountry with, they have ABSOLUTELY no right to treat you or talk to you as if you are not worth sh**. You ARE somebody. You might not be the richest, the smartest, the prettiest...hell maybe even your style sense got stuck in the holocaust years, you are still somebody. Nobody can bring you down unless you give them permission to. Do not apologise for being who you are.

Lesson 3
Family matters. Seriously, I used to think my family was slightly dysfunctional (though now i use the word 'eccentric' hehe), when i was growing up I used to imagine myself the long lost child of some different family somewhere and they would eventually come to get me. God must have been laughing pretty hard at those thoughts Score 1:God 0:Peachez :)But as time went by and my reasoning matured and i saw how they would alwys be by my side through every single event I went through..the magnanimity of the word family settled within me and just sort of wrapped itself around me. There is no better support system than knowing no matter how far you go out there and what you encounter..there is alwys someone somewhere looking out for you, to embrace you, share a laugh, share a tear. Fight a dragon or two (metaphorical ones of course unless you're caught in some time warp). Family is just the best.

I could say a lot more on these lessons but the best things I believe are those that you learn slowly so that it all has time to sink in and have a deep meaningful impact..yes.

God bless.

Justathought........

In the midst of the rough and tumble that is life today, I sat back in a small, rather nondescript cyber cafe and realized that I was happy. I mean really HAPPY. The best part of it though was the fact that I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that could take responsibility of this bestowing such emotions on me. Clearly, it just means that things are going well you would say..but in actual fact there is very little in my life that is actually following a pattern i had set. Every single part of it has a mind of its own. At first i thought resistance would set things right but as the saying goes....yep, it was futile.

It reached a point where it was best to sit back and let the waves engulf me. just take in a big breath and let myself sink into it. Ironical, change did change me. And boy, am I happy for it.

Hitting ON The Belt....

A fool is a fool is a fool is a fool....
For some reason that has been my mantra all this week...but hold on before you start wondering why. Lots of people can relate to the situation I was in.

I woke up one day and my mind just wondered into the area of relationships and all the mistakes (human ones) that I've made in all those years. I would have never admitted to having a "type" but reflecting back on it I realize that I do. The only difference is my "type" involves all the bad stuff, the no-nos that your mother warns you about.

The Do-it-yourself projects:
These were really a favorite of mine, they are like a puzzle waiting to be un-puzzled or have their potentials unleashed and this challenge was thoroughly enthralling for me. I would go at it with the zeal and zest of a teenager at their first mixer.
Problem: Once the puzzle unravels its back to boredom and I wonder what was so interesting in the first place.
In a nutshell; DIYs+Peachez=Unhappily ever after.

The Half-baked projects.
These are guys who are still a work in progress. In a nutshell some other female had already began the process of "re-adjusting" him and for some reason or other left the project in betwixt formation. These guys tend to be like a puppy caught in headlights, they don't know whether to move forward or back.
Problem: Once I take up a half-baked project, chances are I will not like what the previous "re-adjuster" did and since there is no erase-reboot button on him, i get frustrated faster than you can say.....yeah, that fast.

The Self-made guys
These are guys who come practically packed in a gift box with a pretty ribbon to match. They have it together and things are already going pretty well for them. A gal tends to be almost like the last piece to complete his picture perfect world. Sounds ideal right? Hah! Have you met me?
Problem: Boredom..........
Oh, you're still waiting to read more? This guy rarely poses a challenge. He is self-made and probably as stubborn to changes as an old rock. And trust me most females do want to change a guy even if its just a teensy bit.

In conclusion, I plead The Freedom of Expression (just in case anyone has been offended) hehehe they are just thoughts and subject to change....occasionally.

Love y'all
God bless.

I WISH

I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So that walking away
Would be easy

I can't bear to
Stay anymore
Yet
I can't stand
Living without you

When you take my love
And throw it back
In my face
I almost believe
I could leave
Almost.....

But you're always quick
To say sorry
And I'm just as fast
To forgive you

And just as sure
As the wind blows
We're back to square one
Rewriting our life
On a new page
Yet, it's the same old story

I wish you didn't make me so weak
I wish you didn't know me so well
I wish I didn't love you
Then walking away
Would be easy.

Love Madly

I am in love that's all I can say.
I thought it was fleeting, but here it stays.
My heart pounds, no rest
I fear it'll rip out of my chest.
This dream...
This dream fills me
I scream, I shout,
I giggle with glee.
I weep, I moan, I curse
Oh what the heck
Call me a nurse!!
This dream....
This dream thrills me

Bridal Showers and Wide Open Eyes

For the first time in my life I had the chance to attend a bridal shower. A very good friend of mine from high school is getting married in a few days so we surprised her with a shower. I don't really know what pre-conceived notions I had of pre-nuptial ceremonies but I have to admit it was pretty nice.

It wasn't the expected guys-in-tight-clothes-struggling-to-get-out-of-them-for-your-viewing-pleasure kind of thing either. It was a mature heart to heart filled with memories, advice and lots of laughter. Who knew you could get so much enlightenment from a group of females carrying various naughty gifts to present to the bride :) (the naughty gifts are tradition).

In short, i loved it and I'm thinking of doing my own before-the-guy-has-even-thought-of-proposing-but-in-the-hopes-that-he-does bridal shower :) hehehehe anything is possible, I could start a new trend. Be sure you heard it here first.

Happy wishes for a great life to my good friend Karen and her Mr.Karen,Nyamu.

Of Unfulfilment and the Phobias That Should Never Be Mentioned

My blogging has really slacked off for a while (though very few people complained). The reason is that I have been going through a crisis of sorts. It has reached a time in my life when my being is rearing to go but life is just not complying accordingly. Hence leaving me somewhat unfulfilled.

I just can't put my finger on what bothers me the most but I think that's mostly because I'm scared of what I might discover about myself. There is nothing as scary to me as finding out bare truths about myself that I have neither the inclination or the strength to start dealing with. (deep exhale) Glad I got that off my chest.

Now on to something a bit more light. I have discovered I have a mini phobia which is a bit out of the ordinary (which is fitting because almost everything in my life is out of the norm). Anyway, whenever I use the Ladies and I sit on that seat to do my "business" I get panicked thoughts that maybe I'm in a public place and I'm just hallucinating the loo. Of course the implication of this is that I'm doing my business in public (heavens forbid). Well, don't look at me like that...at least I admit mine. What's yours?

Be blessed followers of my overly-descript blog :)