BACK IN NAIROBI

Sometimes i get very much out of touch with my blog. I allow other things to take precedence and that is my undoing in more than one area. This blog has slowly become almost a memoir, on the rare occasions that i do put my fingers on the keyboard.

So what’s new is that I’m back in Nairobi and seriously looking for employment, gainful employment because there are some crazy people out there who made some really indecent suggestions of how i can strive for salaried payment. Shame on you!

It has been a small hill to climb so far, well do not get me wrong i did not expect to just get the first job i applied for (though i secretly hoped i would damn!). i still get surprised by just how the rot of corruption has filtered to almost every sector of the economy, evidence seen by the number of times I’ve been asked to “chota” for a job. It beats the purpose because I’m looking for a job so as to get money and this guy is asking me for money so that he can get me that job. ?????? There are some good people out there too, people who take time to go through my particulars and even offer suggestions and part-time jobs.

So anywho, yesterday my friend Brian let his opinion be known about what a wasteland my blog is becoming and far be it for me to be known as a bad blogger (it’s like being called an unfit mother). Therefore, Brian Van R, today’s blog is in your honour so take a bow 

God bless.

DO OR BE DAMNED?

Society can be an evil tool, especially for those of us who do not know how to follow known norms. In that respect there reaches a time in a girl's life when all eyes are cast on you and then there is the raised eyebrow look when questions like: "when are you gonna get married?" now the ideal answer is "when i'm darn good and ready" however the ones who ask the questions don't buy that line anymore. Everyone's got an opinion on how your life should be and which course it should take. I got my first proposal recently and all that went through my mind was "Is it THAT time already?" no offence to my sweetie who asked :-) I'm not yet on that road but i will get there and when i do i hope you will still be there waiting for me.

DISCOVERY IN EACH NEW DAY

each new day seems to bring one more good thing to discover to make life just a little bit more special to us. its just a wonder sometimes to me why people choose to commit suicide.
the path to discovery doesn't even need to involve earth-changing, soul-changing, mind-blowing events. it could just be a new tune you heard, a phrase someone said in passing, a new outlook on something...the path is filled with endless and limitless possibilities.
no one ever said life was going to be a piece of cake or smooth sailing and anyway something simple is rarely fun or worthwhile. its the struggles that make us appreciate life and God more. we cannot appreciate the light if we've not seen the dark.
so when life gets you down and you feel you don't have the strength to wake up and move on just look up at a bird in the sky, listen to a soft song, give to charity...do something that will restore your faith in life because there is so much more out there that remains for you to discover. DISCOVER!!!
God bless

LOVE DOES HURT...

We always seem to forget or overlook the fact that when you love someone you automatically give the person the power to hurt you. What is it about love that keeps people going for more and more of it even after they are hurt. Its kind of like a moth that is drawn to the light bulb over and over despite the fact that with every bang its burnt. And the worst thing is that the pain is like a stab in the stomach, it gnaws on you making you think of all that is not right in your life and it drudges up old hurts that you thought was water under the bridge. When you experience that kind of pain it feels like nothing can ever be right so whats the next step? If only there was a book you could refer to, a guru you can consult...but this life is only yours to make and there will be hard times ahead...so ask yourself if its worth it to embrace the love with all its hurts or has the time come to draw lines and find a different path? Both choices are equally hard but necessary at the right time... God bless

LOVE ONLY..

In my life i have loved,i have known love and have been loved. Sometimes..no,a lot of times, it hurt but its part of loving. The best way to experience love is to give into it wholly, there is no half love, conditional love or blind love..love is just love. Sometimes it fades, sometimes it grows, sometimes it makes you feel there is no life without it..those are just the many faces of love. But truly the best love is loving and being loved back. When another heart returns your feelings,heartbeat by heartbeat. Sometimes we take it for granted and don't show it as often as we should but the best course to take with love is to celebrate it every chance we get. So love truly, love wholly, love surely, love ONLY..

Family affairs

families are the most precious gifts in this world..but the thing is with anything that is good there is most certainly going to be a bad side to it or a weakness. Lord knows there is no perfect family out there and anyone claiming to have one is a flat out liar.
my family is no exception,mind u i'm not saying its dysfunctional but its just sometimes very trying to get 7 adults to have coordinated and cooperative thinking,yet we still struggle on..
what is it about love that makes us try and try again,as a family u know u didn't choose them and ur stuck with them for good so u have no choice but to love them.so as much as every bone in your body screams bloody murder,you just take a deep breath and try to make sense of things yourself..its always hard being the one who has to make sense but for the sake of all families out there,someone has to.

Creativity and inspiration

I think all of us have the capability to be "creative." its not always about the fancy oxford dictionary words. A writer can convey more thoughts in a few sentences of simple english as compared to those who sound like the thesarus is their bedtime reading material. A friend today got me thinking about my creativity and what i aspire to do with it. Fact is am a closet writer with very little faith in my work all because people who inspire me are just too darn good. I don't know whether there is any sense in that but its the whole truth. Am not those writers who can derive inspiration from a sunset, a broken heart, a bad experience... No, believe it or not i derive my inspiration from people. People inspire me far greater than any emotion i have. And not just people but their emotions as well. To write well, (well enough, anyway) i place myself in the shoes of another and use their emotions to write. I try to picture what someone could be feeling and the words just flow from there. I don't know what that says about my skills as a writer... So,what are my aspirations? To just keep loving my work and if someone else loves it too..well that is a bigger bonus. God bless.