UNTITLED 8

If all you see
Is the mad in me
The crazy, the insane
The psycho battles I face

Then what you see
Is really but part of me
I like to think
I'm wonderfully bad,
fancifully confused,
beautifully twisted,
serenely lost

If all you see
Is the mad in me
Then you need to redefine
What mad really is.

UNTITLED 7

When I said I loved you
Did you believe me?
When I chose that moment to tell you
Was it the right one?

Immediately after I said it
I looked at you
And a momentary shadow of doubt
Crossed my mind
Do I?

Then as quickly as the doubt came
It disappeared.
I don't love you....
What I feel
Surpasses words
Worlds....
And creates...
Unparalleled...
Its own voice of reason

Do I love you?
Yes and No
There's just...
No existence without you.

UNTITLED 6

Another place
Another time
Another choice
Another me
What would I be

Sometimes I wonder
Would it be better
Would it be worse?
For sure
It would be different.

Different stories
Different people
Who would they be?

I wouldn't mind
Because sometimes
I feel I would fit
Anywhere.....
But here.

UNTITLED 5

My heart strings
Strummed along as he sang
Beat for beat
Word for word

All the noise
Died down
And the world seemed
To exist for him alone
His rhythms
Rocked...everything

He feels the song
I feel him
His passion....
My passion....
And at the end of the song;
There exists,
Only endless promises
For me..
For him..
For us.

Still learning, Still sharing

I've been having very yo-yo ish days. Those days when you escalate from a high to a low to a middle and you don't even know what the heck to expect at the next second. All in all its been one learning experience after the other.

Lesson 1
I've learnt that no matter what dark place life takes me there is always going to be an exit sign somewhere if i look hard enough. Even if it means turning over stones and stepping on the occasional flower.

Lesson 2
I've learnt that no matter who someone is or who they know or who they share blood ties with or fences in upcountry with, they have ABSOLUTELY no right to treat you or talk to you as if you are not worth sh**. You ARE somebody. You might not be the richest, the smartest, the prettiest...hell maybe even your style sense got stuck in the holocaust years, you are still somebody. Nobody can bring you down unless you give them permission to. Do not apologise for being who you are.

Lesson 3
Family matters. Seriously, I used to think my family was slightly dysfunctional (though now i use the word 'eccentric' hehe), when i was growing up I used to imagine myself the long lost child of some different family somewhere and they would eventually come to get me. God must have been laughing pretty hard at those thoughts Score 1:God 0:Peachez :)But as time went by and my reasoning matured and i saw how they would alwys be by my side through every single event I went through..the magnanimity of the word family settled within me and just sort of wrapped itself around me. There is no better support system than knowing no matter how far you go out there and what you encounter..there is alwys someone somewhere looking out for you, to embrace you, share a laugh, share a tear. Fight a dragon or two (metaphorical ones of course unless you're caught in some time warp). Family is just the best.

I could say a lot more on these lessons but the best things I believe are those that you learn slowly so that it all has time to sink in and have a deep meaningful impact..yes.

God bless.

Justathought........

In the midst of the rough and tumble that is life today, I sat back in a small, rather nondescript cyber cafe and realized that I was happy. I mean really HAPPY. The best part of it though was the fact that I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that could take responsibility of this bestowing such emotions on me. Clearly, it just means that things are going well you would say..but in actual fact there is very little in my life that is actually following a pattern i had set. Every single part of it has a mind of its own. At first i thought resistance would set things right but as the saying goes....yep, it was futile.

It reached a point where it was best to sit back and let the waves engulf me. just take in a big breath and let myself sink into it. Ironical, change did change me. And boy, am I happy for it.

Hitting ON The Belt....

A fool is a fool is a fool is a fool....
For some reason that has been my mantra all this week...but hold on before you start wondering why. Lots of people can relate to the situation I was in.

I woke up one day and my mind just wondered into the area of relationships and all the mistakes (human ones) that I've made in all those years. I would have never admitted to having a "type" but reflecting back on it I realize that I do. The only difference is my "type" involves all the bad stuff, the no-nos that your mother warns you about.

The Do-it-yourself projects:
These were really a favorite of mine, they are like a puzzle waiting to be un-puzzled or have their potentials unleashed and this challenge was thoroughly enthralling for me. I would go at it with the zeal and zest of a teenager at their first mixer.
Problem: Once the puzzle unravels its back to boredom and I wonder what was so interesting in the first place.
In a nutshell; DIYs+Peachez=Unhappily ever after.

The Half-baked projects.
These are guys who are still a work in progress. In a nutshell some other female had already began the process of "re-adjusting" him and for some reason or other left the project in betwixt formation. These guys tend to be like a puppy caught in headlights, they don't know whether to move forward or back.
Problem: Once I take up a half-baked project, chances are I will not like what the previous "re-adjuster" did and since there is no erase-reboot button on him, i get frustrated faster than you can say.....yeah, that fast.

The Self-made guys
These are guys who come practically packed in a gift box with a pretty ribbon to match. They have it together and things are already going pretty well for them. A gal tends to be almost like the last piece to complete his picture perfect world. Sounds ideal right? Hah! Have you met me?
Problem: Boredom..........
Oh, you're still waiting to read more? This guy rarely poses a challenge. He is self-made and probably as stubborn to changes as an old rock. And trust me most females do want to change a guy even if its just a teensy bit.

In conclusion, I plead The Freedom of Expression (just in case anyone has been offended) hehehe they are just thoughts and subject to change....occasionally.

Love y'all
God bless.