Justathought........

In the midst of the rough and tumble that is life today, I sat back in a small, rather nondescript cyber cafe and realized that I was happy. I mean really HAPPY. The best part of it though was the fact that I couldn't quite put my finger on what it was that could take responsibility of this bestowing such emotions on me. Clearly, it just means that things are going well you would say..but in actual fact there is very little in my life that is actually following a pattern i had set. Every single part of it has a mind of its own. At first i thought resistance would set things right but as the saying goes....yep, it was futile.

It reached a point where it was best to sit back and let the waves engulf me. just take in a big breath and let myself sink into it. Ironical, change did change me. And boy, am I happy for it.

Hitting ON The Belt....

A fool is a fool is a fool is a fool....
For some reason that has been my mantra all this week...but hold on before you start wondering why. Lots of people can relate to the situation I was in.

I woke up one day and my mind just wondered into the area of relationships and all the mistakes (human ones) that I've made in all those years. I would have never admitted to having a "type" but reflecting back on it I realize that I do. The only difference is my "type" involves all the bad stuff, the no-nos that your mother warns you about.

The Do-it-yourself projects:
These were really a favorite of mine, they are like a puzzle waiting to be un-puzzled or have their potentials unleashed and this challenge was thoroughly enthralling for me. I would go at it with the zeal and zest of a teenager at their first mixer.
Problem: Once the puzzle unravels its back to boredom and I wonder what was so interesting in the first place.
In a nutshell; DIYs+Peachez=Unhappily ever after.

The Half-baked projects.
These are guys who are still a work in progress. In a nutshell some other female had already began the process of "re-adjusting" him and for some reason or other left the project in betwixt formation. These guys tend to be like a puppy caught in headlights, they don't know whether to move forward or back.
Problem: Once I take up a half-baked project, chances are I will not like what the previous "re-adjuster" did and since there is no erase-reboot button on him, i get frustrated faster than you can say.....yeah, that fast.

The Self-made guys
These are guys who come practically packed in a gift box with a pretty ribbon to match. They have it together and things are already going pretty well for them. A gal tends to be almost like the last piece to complete his picture perfect world. Sounds ideal right? Hah! Have you met me?
Problem: Boredom..........
Oh, you're still waiting to read more? This guy rarely poses a challenge. He is self-made and probably as stubborn to changes as an old rock. And trust me most females do want to change a guy even if its just a teensy bit.

In conclusion, I plead The Freedom of Expression (just in case anyone has been offended) hehehe they are just thoughts and subject to change....occasionally.

Love y'all
God bless.

I WISH

I wish I wasn't
In love with you
So that walking away
Would be easy

I can't bear to
Stay anymore
Yet
I can't stand
Living without you

When you take my love
And throw it back
In my face
I almost believe
I could leave
Almost.....

But you're always quick
To say sorry
And I'm just as fast
To forgive you

And just as sure
As the wind blows
We're back to square one
Rewriting our life
On a new page
Yet, it's the same old story

I wish you didn't make me so weak
I wish you didn't know me so well
I wish I didn't love you
Then walking away
Would be easy.

Love Madly

I am in love that's all I can say.
I thought it was fleeting, but here it stays.
My heart pounds, no rest
I fear it'll rip out of my chest.
This dream...
This dream fills me
I scream, I shout,
I giggle with glee.
I weep, I moan, I curse
Oh what the heck
Call me a nurse!!
This dream....
This dream thrills me

Bridal Showers and Wide Open Eyes

For the first time in my life I had the chance to attend a bridal shower. A very good friend of mine from high school is getting married in a few days so we surprised her with a shower. I don't really know what pre-conceived notions I had of pre-nuptial ceremonies but I have to admit it was pretty nice.

It wasn't the expected guys-in-tight-clothes-struggling-to-get-out-of-them-for-your-viewing-pleasure kind of thing either. It was a mature heart to heart filled with memories, advice and lots of laughter. Who knew you could get so much enlightenment from a group of females carrying various naughty gifts to present to the bride :) (the naughty gifts are tradition).

In short, i loved it and I'm thinking of doing my own before-the-guy-has-even-thought-of-proposing-but-in-the-hopes-that-he-does bridal shower :) hehehehe anything is possible, I could start a new trend. Be sure you heard it here first.

Happy wishes for a great life to my good friend Karen and her Mr.Karen,Nyamu.

Of Unfulfilment and the Phobias That Should Never Be Mentioned

My blogging has really slacked off for a while (though very few people complained). The reason is that I have been going through a crisis of sorts. It has reached a time in my life when my being is rearing to go but life is just not complying accordingly. Hence leaving me somewhat unfulfilled.

I just can't put my finger on what bothers me the most but I think that's mostly because I'm scared of what I might discover about myself. There is nothing as scary to me as finding out bare truths about myself that I have neither the inclination or the strength to start dealing with. (deep exhale) Glad I got that off my chest.

Now on to something a bit more light. I have discovered I have a mini phobia which is a bit out of the ordinary (which is fitting because almost everything in my life is out of the norm). Anyway, whenever I use the Ladies and I sit on that seat to do my "business" I get panicked thoughts that maybe I'm in a public place and I'm just hallucinating the loo. Of course the implication of this is that I'm doing my business in public (heavens forbid). Well, don't look at me like that...at least I admit mine. What's yours?

Be blessed followers of my overly-descript blog :)

Raising a Genius....

I have a beautiful three-year old niece who has delayed-terrible-two-syndrome (yes I came up with that ™. This is a bit of a pickle because the behaviors of two year old's should definitely not be combined with those of three year old's in one body.

She loves singing and the fact that she doesn't really understand most of the words said in the songs she tends to pretty much make up things on her way. The kicker is that when she is making up words she spews out things she hears every now and then and they stick to her mind. For example the colorful language she hears her dad and his friends when their favorite footie team is loosing. This means in between her singing you can very clearly hear the "sh**" or the "cr**" and "WTF". Trying to get her to stop belting out these words is an even bigger challenge because she is kinda defiant. The more you say no the more she wants to see just how far she can get away with doing that thing.

She has also started learning how to read three letter words, she sounds out the letters then she reads the word whole. Those familiar with the Montessori Study technique will know what I'm talking about. However, being the little creative genius that she is, the small number of words she knows are not sufficient to whet her appetite to show just how learned she is so she makes up new words. You can imagine my surprise when one afternoon we were seated outside and she was loudly shouting out letters then words. All of a sudden after the "P-O-T POT" word she went on to shout "P-O-N PON" granted it isn't PORN but it sounds exactly the same. I wonder what the neighbors think of our child-rearing skills now :)

Oh well, every creative genius has a quirk don't they?